Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

Do you know what that two letter word is? Why is it so powerful? And why doesn’t people use it?

To be a strong and confident person means that you know and use this powerful two letter word. Time has proven that one who has the power knows how to say, NO. Yes, that is the most powerful two letter word known to man, it drives home the point and makes people pause and rethink what you just said. I have to admit that many of my friends I speak with has no clue how powerful it is to say no.

I always grew up knowing this, and at times I honestly overused that word. I was kind of a selfish person and many people told me I didn’t care about anyone but myself. But, as time went by I got better and better at saying no. I soon realized that people hated that word. It is what I call a protection word, it protects you from anything wrong and shows people that they can’t use you.

To bring over this point is not very easy and I will try to give you some examples that I have seen myself that shows how powerful that word is.

If your a person that likes to please everyone, then you will be in for a treat right now. Take one of your friends whom you have always said yes to, and then on your next meeting, simply say no to whatever they ask. You might get a shock from the harsh reaction you will be given, but just do it and don’t be afraid.

Now let’s understand what we are trying to achieve here. Most people are always trying to get their own way, and that is why they hate it when someone says no. You are actually trying to see how the people around you reacts whenever you turn them down. Another statement that your making clear by saying no, is that your in control of your life, and you don’t walk to anyones beat. This is so powerful, yet many people ignore that. Your the sole owner of your life, and you should also be responsible for any and all decisions you make. And that is why you should also control what you wish to do and for who.

I was talking to a close friend of mines and I told him about that game I play with my kids, so that they would learn how to say no. He then told me that he just wished that he had that power. He said that many people just use him because he never refuses.

Isn’t that something great, he thinks that they are using him. The problem with him is that he has no clue what he just said. No one can use you unless you let them. When you do something for someone, do it from your heart, and that way you won’t feel used. It is the same power you have to refuse. If you don’t refuse, then that means you wanted to help, so then you can’t say they used you.

I can imagine you shaking your head right now, but don’t feel surprised, many of us just say yes, because we don’t want to hurt someone feelings. get used to hurting someone else by refusing, they will ask another and another until someone says yes.

Teaching yourself to say NO

I have a little game I play with my kids, and it’s called; “Say Now Week.” During this week, each and everyone of us is allowed to say no to whatever the other person request. My son is really the nice one, because when I ask something of him, he responds with the words: “Sorry, Daddy, I want to do it, but it’s no week, so you have to do it yourself.” You can sense how nice he is, because he gives you a reason first.

My eldest daughter on the other hand just says no, and smiles. My youngest, just likes the idea of no week, I am not to sure if she understands why we are playing this game. When anyone does something for the other, we just say, you loose, you did it, it’s no week.

The lesson that I try to teach my kids with this game is that you should never feel bad that you said no, if someone should get mad because you said no, then that isn’t a good friend to start with.

In my house this is just a game that we play once in a blue moon, but in real life you should play this game as well, it will make you stronger and more confident. Don’t do anything that you don’t want. Teach yourself how to say no in a nice manner. And smile while your saying it, that way it won’t come across in a harsh manner.

What is the use of saying no?

Many of the kids together go around following friends and end up getting in serious problems because they are afraid to say no. There was one such case where a couple friends would go out on a Friday night and drink until they got drunk, they did this each and every weekend. One weekend, a new friend came over to the house and he was asked if he wanted to go along. He told them that he didn’t want to, but they persuaded him to go along anyway.

One lesson you should also stick with is to always follow your mind. If you made up your mind, don’t change it for anyone.

As the night went along, this friend who never drank, also began drinking. He himself was blissed. They were heading home and they got in a terrible car accident. As strange as it may seem the one who got hurt was my friend, he broke his leg. He told me of this accident and I told him that I always try to follow my mind. So that should be a lesson for you to live by.

Many times in our life, we will be confronted with a bad situation and our heart will tell us that we don’t want to be part of this, but we let someone else decide for us what we will do. So from now on, just control your urges to say yes, and think twice before you do. Don’t ever do something that you will regret. Make a decision and stick with it.

A couple days ago, I saw a group of girls fighting, and one of the girls in the group watching the fight was someone I know very well, she was a student of mines. The fight was heating up and one girl hit the other one with a plank over her head. To my amazement the other friend stepped away from the fight and watched her friends go at it. Many would call her a coward, but I saw how smart she was to keep out of that.

Why get yourself in trouble for something so stupid. She made a wise decision, it was not your problem so why make it yours. Learn to walk away, not every fight should be your fight.
The last example here would be to show you how one person didn’t follow their mind and lost their life.

A couple years back, one cousin called another cousin to come and help him with this guy who he had problems with. This boy was always smiling, very friendly and well mannered. He told him that he was getting ready for bed, and he didn’t want to come down there right now. His cousin insisted and he got dressed and went by the cousins home and they went look for the guy. One thing lead to another, and a gun shot was fired, the one who got out of his bed lost his life.

It is sad how one thing leads to another, while your mind told you no, and you wasn’t going there. We always use words like, if he only knew. Yes, we don’t ever know, but if we follow our minds, we won’t have to ever find out.

Have you ever notice how girls fall for ugly or skinny looking guys and wonder why. The answer is simple, they have mastered the art of not letting any girl dictate what they should do, and that is by saying no. The more times you say no to a girl the more she likes you. Use it, get to like and say no some more, watch the power this word has.

If you want to be a better person, learn how to say no and stick with your decision. Don’t be afraid of saying no and don’t feel bad when someone says no to you. You have the rights to ask, but you have to keep in mind that they have the rights to say no.