Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

As I sat down to watch the news tonight, every channel was briefly discussing the topic of banning the spanking of our kids. Should spanking be banned? Well, I have three kids, and I must admit, this doesn’t fit well with my way of thinking and the way I raised my kids.

There are many ways to raise your kids and I have spanked my kids. I have also seen parents that didn’t spank, and I know of those that takes spanking to an abusive level.

Why I spank my kids

First we must understand what exactly is spanking, and why I do spank. I have given my kids minimal spanking but I had many words exchanged in the process with them. I created a little rule that was laid down by my Mom, once a kid makes twelve years then their spanking ritual ends. So my kids look forward to that milestone, and I must admit, all that is needed after that is good communication and respect.

On the other hand I had a rule whereby no teacher shall ever have to call me to school because of rude behavior. Your grade for behavior should be your best mark in class, even if all your other grades sucked. When my son made nine, he had an outburst with one of the teachers, and he was panting and acting as if he was in charge. Well, that soon changed once I got to the school. I looked at him and said we will deal once we get home. He started to cry and I didn’t even touched him, because he knew of the rule and the consequences that would follow. The teacher grabbed him and started to feel sorry for him.

When we got home I gave him a good trashing with a belt, and later that evening I explained him the reason why. I have to be honest, that was the first and last spanking he really got from me. I must also admit that was the last time any teacher ever complained him to me.

Spanking is not abusing

Many parents get the concept mixed up, abuse is not spanking. When you take spanking to a next level and use the buckle of a belt or any type of metal object like pipes. Then your naturally abusing your children. That is abusive behavior. It is always better to not spank your kid when your in a rage, that way you will control the level of punishment.

I have seen situation where parents spanked their kids until blood came, because they ripped the skin with the object they were beating their kids. That is plane out abuse. And I don’t believe it should ever get to that level.

Mothers fighting with their kids to prove who is in charge, it’s not about who is in charge it is about you being a parent. parents and kids should never ever have to fight. this shows no love or bond within that family. They tend to miss out on the little love that a parent is suppose to be offering.

Teaching your kids to love

Sometimes, it is much easier to to give love, but you can’t give or expect to receive what you have never given. Many parents miss the chance to show love, and that should be an ongoing process that starts when they are very young.

We tend to scold, kick and scream at our kids, but seldom do we ever praise or give compliments for the good things they do. We condemn the bad behavior and have absolutely no kind of conversations with our kids. Spending time with your kids is vital, just playing card games or simple board games, creates lasting bonds and memories.

Children are the easiest to deal with once we show them how to love, a little hug before bed goes a long way. A kiss on the cheek and naturally saying I love you, shows them how much you care. Start showing the kind of love you would like in return and you will be assured of the kind of love you receive.

To spank or not to spank

Don’t spare the rod and spoil the child…

Many parents are afraid to spank their kids, and as I always say; “What you practice at home becomes very easy on the streets.” If you can’t control your kids at home, then you should not try to control them when your around your friends or out of the house. They are not accustom to you showing that authoritative type of power, so they will embarrass you.

I always believe that the role of a parent is to show respect (notice what I just wrote, you have to show respect), and then to set the rules in your own home as to what you will tolerate and what you would not. Once your kids understand the rules, your life becomes very easy. If you can’t get your kid to understand the rules before the age of four to five, then forget it, they will never listen to you. Your only choice is to pray and hope for the best.

There are easy going kids, they are very easy to raise, but then you have very inquisitive kids, and they are the ones that needs a whole load of explaining and correcting. Kids adhere to rules, and sometimes expect the parent to step in, but they don’t. At that moment your kid will keep testing the bounds and trying to get away with anything you overlook. Once they notice what you don’t address it just keeps getting worse until you loose control over your own kid.

I do believe that we should spank once a kid gets out of control. Two or three lashes will be more than enough. Don’t make spanking your first priority, you can also punish your kids.

Punishing your kids is much better

To punish is a much easier method and it demands strict control on your behalf. You have to reinforce the punishment and not let them get away with it.

Just monitor your kids and use what they like as methods for punishment. If your kids like playing with a special toy, PSP, baseball or whatever else, just let them know they can’t attend for a week or two as punishment and make sure they don’t go.

This process has to be taught from a very young age, it is the only way you will be able to continue this sort of punishment at a older age. One method I always used is to use a firm voice to show when I disliked something. Practice this tone whenever they do anything wrong, they will get scared anytime you use that tone of voice.

If parents were firm in applying those simple methods of punishment, then we would have no need for the government to step in and creates false laws that govern how we should raise our own kids. To be a parent means you have to make sure your little kid can’t outsmart you. You’ve walked that road before, think back and make a sound decision and stick with it.

The most respectful kids are those that has been punished when they were younger. So I am a firm believer in punishing kids. The government should not be the one to dictate how we should raise our kids. They are the first to put all the blame on us when our kids does wrong, so let us stand fully responsible for the methods we choose to raise our kids. With that I do mean spanking and punishing, no abuse.