Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

Parents pay attention, this is one of the most important steps that many of the modern day parents overlook, and fail to accept. This topic is close to heart and I do believe that once you decide to get kids, you will be tested with all those annoying tricks that kids do everyday. Are they doing those things on purpose? Kids will be kids, and they are supposed to test us as parents. Spanking and punishment alone, doesn’t qualify you as a loving parent.
The biggest question you should be asking yourself now is: Am I really a loving parent?

Before you decide to get kids, you have to really consider the important role a parent plays in their kids lives. I don’t care if your a single parent or a couple, what counts here is the best upbringing for your kids. I do believe that you should be constantly thinking before you act and pondering the results and effects that any actions you take will have on your kids.

At some point in my life I realized that I myself was pushing my kids to hard and wondered what the heck I was up to. Are you only there to create genius kids or loving well mannered and disciplined kids?

I then analyzed the situation and asked myself, would you love your Dad if he was pushing and constantly cursing you. I have seen this situation with one of my students and up to this day, she is still bothered by this, she believes that everyone should treat her like dirt, and that screaming and scolding at her is a normal action.

I analyzed what I was doing and how my son was drifting away from me at the tender age of just nine and decided to start doing a little more explaining and having more fun with him, but the defining moment came when I went to the shop one day. Can’t recall the exact day, while talking with this Chinese kid who was away studying I asked her what she wanted to be. She said she really don’t have a clue, me and my smart answers said; “If you have no clue what you want to be become then you will never finish!”

She smiled and said, that isn’t really important because Bill Gates never finished school. I paused, it was a shocker, and of course I couldn’t leave all defeated and said; “The big difference with you and Bill is that he knew what he wanted, and you don’t!”

The moral behind the story: Kids do have great ideas that they would like to discuss with their parents, but parents are too busy to take a minute out of their busy schedule to listen. This was clearly the case with this girl, she was trying to please her parents by going overseas for an education and at the same time showing that she has no clue what she wants to become. Being a parent means paying more attention and clearly giving little hints that will get your kids talking.

The beauty of being a parent is you get to do it your way, and believe you me there is a wrong and a right way.

Many parents are literally ignoring the fact that their kids are supposed to be the leaders of tomorrow. You can’t create leaders if your constantly putting your kids down, calling them dumb, and all those irritated names that would make a grown up so mad that they would leach out with a relentless attack of words or punches. So can you picture how your kid feels? I was guilty as sin, I did the same, but I realized what was happening and turned it around. Are you too late?

The biggest problems I have seen while giving extra math classes is that the kids are not outspoken. I demanded that from each and everyone of my students. Before we can get on with the good stuff, you have to learn to speak, and I must admit it worked well. Many of the kids that came by me showed me the different ways that their parents were raising them. All I did was asked questions, and they would stand up for their parents and admit that they know the method was kind of harsh, but at times they deserved it. That shows that our kids understands more than we think, and it shows that they would mostly wish for a parent that they can communicate with, not a friend, they want someone to show them wrong from right and explain why.

Now, your wondering and thinking about the many things you did to your kids, but believe you me, if it was horrific, no problem, there is always room for change. I have to admit that at sometimes I myself pushed on a little too hard, but I was adjusting and always paying attention to my own parenting skills. I made the commitment to change me, to be the best father I can be.

A loving parent is…

1. A parent that knows their kids, you must know what your kid loves and their potential. You must understand what type of person your kid is, and what they can tolerate. Know their weaknesses and strengths and help them grow. If your kid is a slow learner accept it and love them all the same. School is just a means to a great beginning, talent is hidden within each of your kids, nourish, nurture and develop your kids talent. Don’t brag about your kids, let people tell you how great they are. And don’t be ashamed to speak of your kids wrong doings, that is also a sign of your power and it shows your kid that your not ashamed of them. Speak positively of their weaknesses and show them you understand. Don’t just speak of their wrong doings, add a little love by pointing out the good as well.
2. A parent that protects and doesn’t spoil their kids. Be there for your kids, talk to them daily, notice when something is bothering them and ask if they wish to talk about it. If not, be persistent and try to get them to open up and talk about it, no pressure. Don’t get mad if they won’t tell, just keep at it, they will eventually. Don’t leave any situation linger on for more than a week, do something once you know what’s bothering them, show how much you care, and let them know you was young and that you also made many mistakes, but it important to make small mistakes that you can learn from.
3. A parent that provides - Give your kids what they need, and at the same time I should say what you can afford, don’t ever go over board if you can’t afford. Say no, even if you can to test their attitude. Your a great parent, and providing should be your first option.
4. A parent that show their kids how to love, yes, teach them how to love and they will grow up with a heart that isn’t out looking for love. They will attract love, and will always be very happy. Happy kids are not needy kids. Many kids today would give anything to just have a parent that they could kiss goodnight, or even give a sincere hug. Love them and they will love you for many more years to come.
5. A parent that listens - this should have been number one. Your attentive listening skills needs to be sharpened if your not paying attention and listening to their rant. Many times your child won’t come out blatantly and tell you what is wrong, but they will be giving hints. Sharpen your saw and learn to listen and pay keen attention to them.
6. A parent that is respectful. I have seen situations that would make you run away with shame, and yet I stayed to learn from their mistakes. Parents scolding their kids and calling their own flesh and blood “a bitch”. Well, what can I say, it’s your bitchy daughter, then what does that make you. Think about the words your using, mental abuse hurts more than physical abuse and it stays with your kids for life. They carry the burden of the words you left them with, let them have the sounds of glorious years.
7. A parent that spends time with their kids - Don’t make promises you can’t keep, and should you break a promise, then make it up to them. Play games, go shopping, go sightseeing, go to the beach and do many simple things together, even if you think it’s not important. Give them little choirs that they can assist you with, just keep them in the loop.

To be a loving parent, just means being yourself and showing them the love that you would like them to grow up with, the love that you would wish onto yourself. The signs are there, and you will know when your kids loves you. If your not sure, the easiest way to find out would be to just ask them. Isn’t, it is much easier giving so that they can give in return, than to ask? If your thinking if they love you or if your a great loving parent, then that means you are failing or failed miserable as a parent. Don’t think for one moment that you can start this process after you have been battling with them for many years. This process starts from the day you decided to conceive a child, they can feel the love you have for them from in the womb. Once they come into the world, your role is to make this love grow stronger… Be a loving parent, go kiss your daughter/son, and look them in the eye, and say… I Love You Son/Daughter!