Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

You must understand what it is that you like and dislike, about something or someone. But if your a true leader and not a follower, you will have to be criticized, complemented, liked and disliked.

Most of you and I must admit that I myself loves to be complemented, but what happens when your attacked with a bombardment of negative things that you do. How do you deal with it? What do you do? Will You run? Will stand there and argue?

Life is filled with positive and negative moments and people, and to be at the top, you have to learn how to deal with both the good and the bad. At times I really came to believe that the more bad you are confronted with, the stronger you become.

Let me give you a little example that took place just a couple days back. A colleague called me and I told him about an issue that had to be dealt with right away, he immediately went into defense mode, and stated that I should call the Hotel Manager and let him call him. I told him that’s a waste of energy, why don’t you call him and try to understand what the issue is.

He didn’t even bother with me, and told me no, he won’t do that, I should call the Hotel manager. Now, that really confused me, and at that moment I questioned myself, what is his issue. I didn’t make the call and later that afternoon our manager came to the office, I didn’t bring up the topic, just then that colleague walked in and I called him and asked him what happened with the problem from this morning. he was really nice and said in a soft an friendly voice, I already told you what to do. He was so sweet, I swore that I got cavities from the way he was acting. I then said, how nice, but the boss is here now, so let me hear what you had to say.

He then said you go and tell him then, and so I did. My manager walked over and asked what was the issue, I then explained what was going on, and he then asked the guy what was happening. Must give my boss a credit for that, he listened to both sides. Great skills, when your facing both evils, make no choice, choice no sides, just listen to both.

My colleague began speaking in a weird manner, calling and referring to people without names, I told him, hey if your talking about me, just say what’s on your mind, because I don’t like stories.

This was the first time I was being criticized for something I did. At that moment he caught me off-guard and I was really pissed. But, I didn’t show it, but my voice was much louder than normal. You know what surprised me most, is that this colleague stayed very calm and collective. He honestly showed more skills, he really made me loose my cool.

What happened?

A simple case of letting someone get to you, I left him irritate me, and lost my cool. From now on, I will have to pay much more attention, and think before I respond, and most important: Don’t ever, ever loose your cool!

He then said he would file a complaint against me for the way I addressed him. I then told him that he was just being childish and that when the manager is there he acts so sweet and nice like a spoiled child. But, I must say I honestly learned something from this whole issue.

What did I learn from this?

Ever since I came to work in this department, this guy was confronting me, and I was avoiding him, I kept avoiding him, and the more he kept attacking. I always believed that by avoiding the problem or this person it was the best solution.

That is pure hog wash.

After our problem, we met outside and he asked me; “So you want to bring out your guns and shoot me!”

That statement really pissed me off, but then I told him what I felt and what really happened, a stupid simple over looked mistake brought forward some serious issues. But, once I laid my cards on the table and explained him what I thought, and he explained what he thought. We finally understood each other.

As you can see at some point in your life, you will be confronted or criticized. Don’t run from your problems, just listen to the person attacking, and ask yourself: Why is this person attacking me? Do I attack people the same way?

If you can answer those questions honestly, then you will notice that you do the same and  what your sending out is what you will receive. Change that attitude, stop attacking people, try to understand and reason with people. If they can’t be reasoned with, just state your case and explain that you have to leave.

No matter what people say about you, just embrace and analyze if it’s true and if it is, just change that habit and simply move on. Your not trying to live your life to please. Your trying to learn how to speak your mind and how to be better understood. Those are the most important issues that we have to deal with in life.

Spend more time improving your speaking skills, that way people will understand you better, and you won’t be scared to say what you have to.