Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

Human nature has created creatures of habits and on a regular day to day basis we tend to do many things we love, this forms a sort of a pattern, that we can assume is a habit, once we get to really like doing that same thing over and over again. But, we can have bad habits as well as good habits, and you should favor the good habits. It is a form of addiction, whereby we can’t wait to do that same particular thing every day. It doesn’t matter if it’s smoking, gambling, drugs, watching T.V. or just shopping. All are habits, and every one of us goes through life picking up habits. Your no exception to this. My main focus will be on bad habits, because they can bring more harm than good. Bad habits are very easy to start and can be a very difficult problem in the long run and can be a pain in the butt to get rid of. While writing this article it made me focus on two really bad habits that I had when I was a youngster, and the power I got from breaking those habits taught me a lesson I cherished very much and that also gave me the power to break any bad habit that I picked up later in life.

Your toughest job is always acknowledging that you have a bad habit, once you can give into such, then you will be able to break any bad habit.

Here are five of my best tips for breaking bad habits:

1. Acknowledge your bad habit

It all starts when you give into what your doing that is forming your bad habit. To be able to ditch anything that is wrong, you first have to acknowledge that it is wrong. Many of you don’t grasp this process and go screaming at them and trying to help people that have habits whom have not given into the fact that they have a problem.
You can’t help anyone with a problem if they have not given into the fact that it is a problem, they are not seeing it as a problem - so you can’t help them - because they don’t want to help themselves.

If you have a family member, close friend or anyone you wish to help, please don’t go talking about their habit, try to reason with them and see if they agree with you that they have a habit that is bringing them down. If they don’t agree, then nothing you say or whatever I write here won’t help them either.

I have spoken with many friends and even close family members that has bad habits, but they are not giving into the fact, they say nothing is wrong with them. I have one such case where one friend has a bad habit of dressing as if they have only a pair of pants and a couple shirts. They wear the same clothes and have this awful odor.

Anytime we would sit down and talk about that issue, my friend would always say, that they don’t see that as a problem. That is what I call in one word: “weird.” I just accept that as their own norm and look over the fact that they can’t see that it’s not normal what they are doing. I don’t waste any energy trying to convince them to change, you shouldn’t either, you will be wasting your time. If they wanted help they would accept and then seek help.

2. Using a different route to escape

Now that you have accepted that you have a problem, your training starts within your mind. You have to accept that you will kick this habit, and in your mind is where you will build your plan. It all starts by changing your environment. You can never kick your habit if your planning on keeping the same friends you hang with. Sometimes it’s your friends that you associate who are the ones building your habit.

You will have to be strong and decide to block anything that reminds you of this habit. To better demonstrate this I will show you how I kicked my own gambling habit. When I was in my second year of H.T.S. studying for my Engineering Degree. I used to pass through this mall on a daily basis, they had plenty of those slot machines. I hooked up with a couple of Suriname friends and we used to hang in those spots nearly daily. They used to play the games and I slowly started playing these games also. One thing lead to another and wham, nearly everyday I was playing, sometimes loosing 50 or more guilders each and very day.

I would win once or twice per week. My loses were greater than my gains, hey I was a math whiz kid, I was counting in my head my loses and wins. I kept track of how much I was behind. The problem with this habit, is I was digging a deeper hole and never getting out. All the money I made from my extra classes was going into this habit. This went on for three months.

Can you imagine what a wreck I would have been if I was addicted to drugs. Now you have a clue how a drug addict responds when they take that first shot, they keep going back for more and after a while they are lost, hooked, and needing more each day.

Anyway, one day I faced my loses and realized how I was blowing between 1500 and 2000 guilders each and every month. Wham, it hit me so hard I felt like a train ran over me. In my mind I pictured how many nice clothes I could have bought with that.

I decided that now is the time to stop, and gave my word that I would no longer gamble. I naturally started walking around that shopping mall to get to my home. That was the only way I would survive this. That rerouting was only the beginning.

3. Find something else to keep your mind off the habit

As time went by, I decided to start playing sports. I started hanging out with different Suriname friends that played table tennis. Mind shift - it was really about forcing myself to not think of the gambling habit. I slowly started playing table tennis, these friends were teaching me how to play and the owner of the place fancied my style of play and was also giving me some tips.

I really got good at that game, and I finally forgot about the gambling games. I made up my mind and decided to walk through the mall. It worked, I walked pass that place and didn’t have the urge to play anymore.

One day while walking home, one of my old friends approached me and asked me if I wanted to go play the slot machines again, at that moment my whole mindset shifted, I really wanted to, the fight between good and evil was taking place. I said no, and gave an excuse that I had to study, never before did it ever bother me that I had school work, but this excuse was my secret weapon. I used it many times when I was confronted by my old friends.

4. Saying you will stop and meaning it

The method I will discuss here isn’t for the faint of heart or those who drift. You have to be firm and commit to doing whatever you say you will do. I always lived by my own saying: “Promises are made for fools, they are made to be broken!”

I don’t fall for promises, once I give my word, you can rest assured that I will do whatever it takes to not break my word. That is why I don’t believe in anyone who say they promise to do or not do. You have to believe in yourself and think how much of a better person you would be once you keep your word.

To demonstrate this I will share another life secret, and this one is even tougher, because it bares heavily on my manliness. When I was in my prime and really into the ladies, I was dating older women than myself. I seldom went around with girls my own age. I was all into women that had something to offer.

One day I sat down and asked myself: “What are you going to do with your life?”

That one question opened my mind, and I realized that all these women was not what I wanted, I wanted to find a woman that would help me build a life and that women was to be baggage free, no kids.

I then told my bro, mark my words, I will dump all those girls and from today, I would never have an affair with any women that has kids. I knew it was a tough, bold and very challenging statement to make. But, I had to stick with it. One night while going to the club, it was a club we visited often. We were well known in this club, something happened that proved how strong I was.

That evening I met a lady out of this world, a nine on my rating scale, nice black hair, smooth skin, one of those ladies that the Lord took his time and put together. We started chatting and I took her on the dance floor, things was really looking great. As we were dancing, I popped the magical question: “Is there any specific or important person in your life I should know about?” She said: “Yes, my son.” And I told her, well I am sorry, but I gave my word that I wasn’t going to deal with any more girls that has kids.” I ended the dance and walked off the floor. My bro approached me some time later and asked what happened. I said she has kids, not my type , he said man you “sick”. Ain’t no promise I make to myself would have kept me away from her.

5. Only you can kick the habit

The type of bad habit isn’t the problem, it is the strength you posses to decide if you want to break that bad habit is what really counts. And it all depends on you. I have one friend from Middle Region where we grew up and he had a drinking problem. It was really severe and no matter how much anyone talked with him, he just continued to drink.

It got even worse that he tried to commit suicide. That failed, and my guess is, that he was to live and kick that habit. I can’t tell you how he gathered the strength to go on and kick that drinking habit, but he finally did it. He joined AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) and stopped drinking. He found the right lady to help him kick this habit and he changed his friends.

As you can see, it is all about you, so if you have any bad habits, it’s never too late to change and start all over again.