Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

Life isn’t getting any easier and the best way to move forward is when we have a group of like minded people working for the best and bringing out the best in each other. We have to start wanting the best for ourselves and for everyone else we know.

Being black is hard as it is, and a constant attack at each other isn’t helping anyone of us. Why can’t black people look out for each other? Why can’t black people build stronger ties in our community? I do believe we can, but the picture that we are painting today has to change.

Let’s try to see the big picture that is being painted today:

1. Making kids for many different men isn’t helping out, you got to see that there is something wrong with this. Today there are parents with four, five or more children all from different fathers. What’s wrong with that picture? They invented birth control with no color barrier, and still many are making babies like they are a bargain.
2. It is hip to wear you pants below the waist line, and walk like a duck. Man, get real, this has no face value to me. I can’t picture the top executives walking into a meeting room to negotiate a million dollar deal, with such a dress code. No one will take you serious. So why is our youth wearing their pants that way?
3. Education is available to all whom wish, yet, many of our black children are dropping out of school before the age of sixteen. Do we think that the future lies in becoming a professional Basket ball player, Football player or maybe a famous rapper (they all carry the trade mark of the “Drop Down Pants Syndrome.”) So why is our youth lacking in the school benches?
4. Our teenage girls are not getting the chance to even enjoy marriage, it is just all about sex, they are letting themselves be video taped by their so called boyfriends. Trust me, if he loved you that much, he wouldn’t be taping you, he would be too busy making love with you. If he wants to tape you, just ask yourself what he would do with that video once you and him are no longer together? Guess the answer is obvious! Something is wrong with the amount of videos of our teenage love struck youngster. Help me paint this picture. Why are they letting their boyfriends tape them? Haven’t they just seen the last one from someone in our community?
5. Teenagers getting pregnant at such a young age, it’s like children raising children all over again. When will the cycle stop? How can we change this picture, are we raising children so they can just get pregnant at a very young age?
6. Many of the children hanging out on the block, can’t even write nor read their own name if you snubbed it right under their noses. How will they ever be able to sign a check or get their own bank account, much less get a great JOB? Something is wrong with this picture, hanging on the block is not cool.
7. Young girls hanging out with a group of boys until late in the evening, I have seen this in my own neighborhood. don’t these youngsters have a mother or a father? This picture, let’s me to see that boys and girls hanging out late at night means, our own parental skills are lagging.
8. Look at the checkout counters, all we are seeing is young black girls, working for minimum wages. Will they grow up and start a family of their own? How can we change this picture and capture the better jobs that are available?
9. Parents attacking the teachers, is it the teacher fault, or is it the teachers responsibility to discipline our children?
10. Now, I am taking a great example from my little Island St. Maarten. Many of our youngsters are ending up in prison. Whenever a crime is committed they blame the foreigners, well, wake up people this is not true. Our prisons are becoming to small, they are filling up with black folks, and many of them are local Antillean kids. What’s wrong with this picture.

I can go on and on, and create a really big list, but I do think the picture has been painted, and I do know you see what I see, and understand where I am coming from. If you don’t then that means you have living with your eyes closed and not accepting the fact that we as black people are failing miserable.

At the time of this writing, Barack Obama is running for president, and he is a black man. Yes, we have come a long way, and we should be proud to see this. I am proud to have witness this event in my life, because it shows that some of the black people in the world are painting better pictures. But to few and too little to brag about. What is the first picture you think he would wish to change?

Do you think it’s Obama’s job, or our job to work together and starting pushing each other up the ladder. As black people we have to stop fighting and putting each other down. We have to stand up and unite and help each other improve. To make this world a better place, it starts with you, you have to change that picture that many of our black folks are painting, and it starts with you, not Obama or any other person.

We have to stop playing the blaming game and start facing our own responsibilities with open eyes.

We must become the change we want to see in the world… “Mahatma Gandhi”

We have to also start educating our kids and getting them to start striving for better in life. Change their mental image of what life is supposed to be like. Let them see that to be different is something great.

This is not a black or white issue, this is not a teaching problem, this is a problem we are facing daily and if we don’t start pushing each other up the ladder, we will find ourselves living in bondage again. Just enjoying the meager wages and living in the poverty stricken neighborhoods.

Let’s all change this picture, and do something today. A small change in our thinking and our attitude, will help propel more of our black people to do more and strive for more. Let’s start with the first change, and that is to change yourself, forget about changing the world or another person, just change yourself and that will enable just one more black person to shine, together we will make a difference.

If only there was a way to make life look so simple and easy, make it more understandable, make people understand how you think and why you do things the way you do them. Is there something like; Life Improvement Made Simple?

Can you really make simple strides in life that would improve your life for the better?

I wish that question was as simple as growing up and getting all the great things that life has to offer, but I can’t give no direct answer to that. All I can say is that you will make mistakes and do hope you will learn from your mistakes, but you can make life better, by enjoying the nicer things in life, and being a better person.

It doesn’t matter how old you are or what type of lifestyle you live now, your life can always use some improvement. At times I myself wish that I could come over more understandable to others and they would respect what I do, or see things the way I see it. But, at times I know that you have to take charge and do things that many won’t see eye to eye with, and those are difficult moments in life.

How do you deal with moments when no one understands you?

I should rephrase that question, it’s not that they don’t understand, it’s that they don’t see eye to eye or agree with what you are saying. Many people tend to live in a world where they believe in what they say, and they tend to care less about what others have to say.

In many cases like that, it is often very sad, because no matter how hard you try, or what you bring forward it will never make sense. You start to feel inferior, and give way to everything they sya or do, you seldom think your good enough and never bring forward what’s on your mind.

The best way to deal with those type of people, is to simply state what’s on your mind and never get into too much detail. Life isn’t about who is right from wrong. Life is about listening and I mean honestly listening to one another and giving the person speaking a chance to bring over what they are trying to say.

This is the first way to make simple improvements in life, it all starts with communication, and the way you treat others. Stop trying to be a Know-It-All. Just be a good listener.

A next point I would like to address is, the method of respecting one another. Respect is a big word, and I have seen cases where we tend to show respect, in such a form that it favors the one who believes everything they do is right. Nothing you do or say is ever good enough. That isn’t respect. I think respect goes way beyond dictating what you wish, or bringing forward your method for dealing with certain issues, and leaving it as that.

To be respectful, truly shows how much you respect others for their ideas or opinions. Everyone can come up with a great idea, and as such, you should truly show how much you respect others for the little things they do and what they say.

I have witnessed situations where many people stay hoping and praying for others to fail, and that is supposed to be something to be proud of. Wishing bad for others to glorify your wish or to prove you was right, is not in any form or fashion respectful, just because you don’t agree with what they have to say or did, doesn’t mean it was wrong.

You and I are responsible for the decisions we make, and those choices we make in life, will dictate the type of life we live. I do believe that once you stand firm and believe in the choices you make, may they be wrong or right, only you can adjust and improve life as you go.

The unknown awaits us all, and some of the decisions you make will not tend to work out, but like a ship at sea, you just have to adjust and stay on course, only you know what plans or goals floats around in your mind. Stay on course and follow your plan and all will work out fine.

Life is about improvements, small daily increments that will make your life better on a daily basis. The more you improve the stronger and a better person you will become. Just keep on improving and living the life you want to live.

I had a week-end of much joy and sorrow at the same time. I attended a funeral of a very young colleague/friend and that intrigued me to write this article. At some point in your life you will be confronted with many decisions, some that effect your judgment and your thinking. You will be held captive by your own mind and you will not know what to do or how to deal with the problems your facing. It is then that you will need to stop thinking so much and start living.

If you look at someone from the outside, it always seems great, but when you really get to know someone you will discover the many problems that they have been dealing with on a day to day basis.

Stress creeps in when your not looking and it is the cause of a problem so severe that it makes you ill. It is actually your mind that is making you ill. You have to learn how to speak your mind and stop thinking so much. You should not build stress because your trying to be a very nice person and not hurt anyone feelings. Your hurting more than you think, when your afraid to speak your mind.

The nicest person and the most quiet person you know is always thinking and afraid to say what’s on their mind. You do yourself more harm than good by not speaking out.

Fact is, you believe that by not saying anything you won’t hurt anyone, your actually hurting someone very close…

…yourself.

Why is it important to say what’s on your mind?

I myself has been in situations, where I did not speak my mind and I have seen the problems it caused. But the problem was not caused by what I did say. it was caused by what I was constantly thinking of, what I did not say, and how I began to avoid certain people because I just wanted to keep out of their way and stay as far away as possible.

The solution I choose was no good, because I spent more time thinking about what I should have done and never took the time to really correct that problem. I went on with my life, but now, I have guilt feelings for not saying what I wanted. I honestly know the method I chose was not solving anything, and as time went by, I just left it alone. Today that problem is still lingering in the air, and I don’t think it will matter anymore, because the damage has been done.

I could have simple said what I wish, but I choose instead to walk away.

Here is the reason why: At times I felt the moment wasn’t right, but you know what?

The moment of speaking your mind never came, and I know how hard it is when my mind dictates, but the truth is that when you speak out, you get to hear others point of view, and that is the loss, I never really heard what they where thinking.

Spend more time living and less time…

thinking about the things that doesn’t make you happy. It is all about being happy. All the money in the world can’t make you happy. If you only learn to analyze and do things differently, you can really enjoy a much healthier and wealthier life.

As grown ups, we tend to lie, because we are afraid to hurt another persons feeling, but the one we are hurting is ourself. I am sorry, but the lies creates even more problems, and makes you live a more confused and hidden life.

When someone under 40 dies of a heart attack, it should make each and everyone of us think. It made me wonder what caused this and why should someone so nice go so soon? The answer may be right in front our nose, but at times we are so caught up in our own world that we fail to see the cause.

The bottom line is, they have never really started to live, never enjoyed life, left many loved ones behind, and that’s because they have been worrying so much about what others think of them and never saying what’s on their mind. So in all honestly, being a little self-fish and thinking of yourself first is a good thing.

Many times this friend told me how much she hated her boss, but never once did she let him know. Why?

I just wished I could answer the why, but, I do believe she should have. Because this boss showed up to her funeral, to show his deepest respects. That leads me to another point…

Do you believe that he was showing his respect?

I do believe he was. He would call her all kinds of names, insult her, degrade her and yet she would respect him no matter what. I am not that nice, I believe in speaking my mind, and when I speak, I do it nicely, but the style of wording that I use hurts. I don’t bend the truth, I just say it in a nice manner, nice enough for you to realize that you can’t say what you please to me, because I will let you know how I feel.

Makes you wonder, why we treat others in such a nasty inhumane manner and believe that we are doing them good.

If your not trying to instill greatness in someone or make them feel better about themselves, then just don’t say anything.

Now a word for the wise:

Spend more time loving yourself and others, and less time thinking about love. Just say something nice or do a nice deed every so often. As the years go by, many relationships become very bitter, each waiting for the other to do something nice, and in the end both of them suffers and no one wins. It is do or die, love each other or walk away. No ifs, nor buts. Love is about trust, and I will have to go into this one more deeply.

I have heard many people saying your thoughts are so powerful, well believe it or not, your thoughts have absolutely no power. You create your thoughts and what you do with them is what gives them life.

I believe your much better off controlling your thoughts, and not assuming what others are thinking or saying.  The only way to know this, is once you think or hear something about someone, confront the person and let them know how you feel. You will be surprised that your the one who has ill thoughts most of the time.

I am also not saying that every thing can be talked over, some people are to stubborn to even consult with. In that case just let it be and don’t think about it. Be nice to them and try not to show your ill feelings, don’t ever live one day of your life bittered by someone deeds.

Enjoy each day, and make the best of it! 

A great gift you have is the ability to make your day before you live it.

Your going to love this. Plan your day ahead in your mind, see a nice day and ignore the problems that your facing. Don’t even think about them. A solution will come to mind once you don’t dwell on the problem. Make each day worth living, make new friends, just be more friendly. Your days will only get better.

Now go out there and live life to it’s fullest, enjoy each and every day and be thankful. You don’t know when it will be your last.