Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

Image via WikipediaToday, I am in the mood to share with you a very special mother’s day treat. I am starting off by wishing all the mothers of the world Happy Mothers Day, it doesn’t matter how old you are, if your the biological mother or not, it goes out to all those mothers who took time to raise one child, or many and those who take care of someone else’s child who’s mother refused the role.

At times in our lives, we have had tough times and at other times our mother was a blessing. Some of us complained about their mother while others ignore they have a mother, few don’t even talk to their Mom, the small minded ones hit and abuse their mother and there are those who have no mother, either because they don’t know their Mom or their Mom died.

The situation doesn’t matter, and today is the day, we have to respect all mother’s all over the globe. I may be fortunate to have a Mom to celebrate mother’s day with, and at the same time share my happiness with my children’s mother. Aside from that, one thing’s for sure, without your mother you would not have life today.

A Mothers Day Special

To the lucky few who still have their Mom, and I am in that group, I wish I could share the feelings I have when I am talking with my mother and listening to her wisdom of the ages, because I am repeatedly told about her life stories, and the many years she has on this earth and the things she did, it shows the many mothers day celebrations she have enjoyed.

Oh, before I forget, from my post, growing old isn’t easy, I stated I will let you know how old my Mom is, stick around, you will get a surprise.

Today is that day, when you can eat your pride, forgive and forget, if your having problems with your Mom or haven’t spoken to her in a while, and give her a mothers day present to be proud of. As a mother, although I have never given birth to none, I have been raising three, and have witnessed the bond my children holds with their mother. A mother can never loose that bond, your her child, your part of her, and no matter what you did wrong, a mother always forgives and understands.

Living with such hatred in your heart is nothing nice, and does you more harm than good, take the phone and call your Mom, and wish her happy mothers day, it will be the best mother’s day idea, I must agree, and one she will never forget.

I don’t think any mother day gift can replace the happy moment a mother will get when she sees, all her children at the front door on her special day.

Some of us are not fortunate as others, and may have little cash to spend. But don’t worry, a mother day card will be just fine, let your kids make one if you have no cash. Have you never noticed, those old drawings and paintings from years back lying around your mother’s house, they keep everything from their children. Or better yet, take some pictures of you and the family, frame it, and give it to her as a mothers day card.

I am not sure about this one, but a couple friends told me that they always send their mom out for a mothers day spa treatment. Have never done this, so can’t say much about this one. If it please and sound like a great idea, then do it, just do something for your Mother. A simple bouquet of flowers will do wonders for her soul.

Some years back, I saw my own kids make a card for mothers day, and they shocked me, because I had no clue they were making it, until the day they showed it. Fast forward a couple years to the future and all they do now, is…

ask… What mother’s day present are you going to get?

Has this ever happened to you?

I know you can relate to this, in my experience, you just go all out of your way to get something together. It’s fun seeing how they talk down what you wish to get and try to get something that their Mom would really appreciate, as if they really know their mother, need or wants.

A famous question that many ask: When Is Mothers Day?

You should be ashamed of yourself, if you have no clue that it’s the second Sunday in the month of May. It’s the day many Mom’s look forward to. I can’t say I will be cooking up a big breakfast this year, because I want to keep my lips sealed, but women seems to love those type of surprises…

hint… hint… to those husbands out there, who forgot to get their wife a mothers day gift. It works miracles, and makes everything just fine.

Times changes and many things change once you grow older, but the one thing that will never change is your Mom, you can only have one, and today is that day, to show her how much you appreciate her as your mother. Just think about it, everyday comes and goes, but only once per year, you get the chance to celebrate Mothers Day.

I can recall one Mother’s Day when we took our Mom over to the French Side for a Mother’s Day Dinner fit for a queen, she laughed until she cried, it was really great seeing her happy like that. I do believe that children likes happy tears, it fills a spot in your heart, one I can’t explain.

Like the saying goes, many Moons ago, when my Mom was younger and things were not as nice, we couldn’t even afford to buy her a gift, all we could afford was a big hug and a kiss, those simple things still work today, and they mean more to any mother than all the money in the world, just show up, and give her one of those priceless hugs and kisses, that is what I will be doing this year. My mom has been around for eighty years now, and I have to say, that I can’t complain, I love her the same, and I have no clue when the good Lord will take her, but I know it will be sometime soon.

The years, are passing by faster each passing year, it’s as if we are living in a fast paste world, and I am dreading that day, the day when she will part from this world, but I know it will come, when, I don’t know, but I do hope, when she is still strong and happy like she is today, and for her to never have one painful day of suffering.

As I write these words, a bitter feeling of loss and sentiment fills my body, my mind feels weak, and I have no clue if I should cry or not, my eyes fills with tears, but I know I don’t want to cry, so why am i feeling this way? I said, my Mom lived a happy and fulfilling life, so why do I feel this way?

I can’t explain this feeling, but, a couple weeks back, a very close friend of mine Mom passed away, she was even older than my Mom, she was 92 years. It is a sad happening, but life goes on, the old have to die, and new babies have to come into this world, to make sure our world keep on existing, and so that we can celebrate many more mothers days.

To any struggling mother out there, don’t give away your kids, thinking you can’t vend for them. You will be a much better Mom to your own, once you put your mind to it. Love can conquer all, love your child, one day your struggles will end.

I will end this day by saying; “If your giving the gift of the Lord, and is able to bear children, do what it takes and be a mother to them. Take care of them, show them right from wrong, don’t spare the rod, and the most important is to teach them how to love, give them lots of love, and they will be there for each and every Mothers Day the Lord sends your way. My Mom has been blessed with 52 Happy Mothers Days, and I don’t think anyone can ask for anything more.”

As you get closer to ending this school year, many of you will be sitting exams, sorry, but this article goes out to the students of the world, who are in their final stage of their final exams. For those that were working all through the year, congrats, there is no doubt that you have a big smile on your face, your sure that failure is not an option for you.

But, what about those that are still struggling?

For those who are having a hard time, I won’t say I told you so, or I told you to work hard from the get go. You already knew that. Sometimes, you let things slip through the cracks and get lazy and you end up paying the price with another year. But, look at the bright side, to fail means you get to start all over again, now isn’t that fun, isn’t that what we call seeing things from a positive point of view.

Now, to be honest, I hate failing as much as I hate repeating a class. In my life I had to repeat the fourth grade, and you know why? Because of attitude and over confidence. I had a great report but the teachers told my Mom that it would help him to stop touting his own horn. Did it really work? I can’t say for sure, but it did slow me down, but it didn’t take away any of that positive belief I had in my own abilities to get things done.

Many of you out there look at failure totally wrong, I got a chance to repeat the fourth grade and made it sure that I would plan better. Did I hate my Mom for her decision? Hell, I can’t even recall what I did, I was only nine years, and I honestly don’t know what took place. All I know is I was repeating that class. I can’t say it happened overnight, it all started when I was 20 years old.

What did I do to turn things around?

I created a more fail safe secure environment that would guarantee I pass all my classes. I adopted a go getter attitude, not the geek type, but that of a more calculated person, who did calculate his average score for all his grades, and decided before hand, exactly what grades I needed to pass, and what grades I would go slow on.

Let me give you an example: If I had three tests, depending on how many the professor had scheduled for that school year, usually the amount was very low, no more then six. I would calculate exactly what grades I needed to pass with just two test based on three, and then would work really hard for the first two, and then pay more attention to other subjects that I was weak in, yes, you will always have one or two your not good at.

That way I was always sure all would work out, and I was in control, and it always did.

Now, let me run this by you, today I got an email from “Lilo”, and she stated how well she was doing, how much fun she was having, happy belated B-day by the way. And to be honest, that really touched me! She is one of those persons that has the ability to achieve so much, but she got lazy, she began to complain. Her attitude was set for catastrophic failure. All she did was complain and blame everyone for all that was going wrong in her life, she never took responsibility for anything, and would never look within for her own faults nor flaws. Why she complained so much, I don’t know, but what I do know is she won’t ever forget the words I spoke to her on my dining table. hey No hard feelings “Lilo”, I love you just the same.

Much success to you “Lilo”, like I said I believe in you, and know now, you believe in yourself even more. Go for gold and have fun, leave complaining to those who don’t know that: “To fail means that you get to start all over again.”

It doesn’t matter if you fail, once you don’t blame yourself and call yourself a failure, you can never fail, it is either the system that fails or your plan that failed. Talking about plan, make sure you have a plan while studying, if you don’t know how to study, ask your neighbor, just kidding, ask someone who is doing great in your class how they study, it’s that easy.

And read my article: Studying For Success.

Many of you will be all nervous and banging your head against the wall right now, but you have to learn how to relax and get a grip of yourself. You can still make it, and you know the other option, it was mentioned above. Just tell yourself, I don’t give a dawn if I fail, I knew I worked hard and did my best. Now, don’t fool yourself if you been doing nothing, because you will fail.

Pay close attention, I will only say this once…

…if your grades are shaky, and you still feel you have a chance, then here is what you have to do. First , thing first… Carnival is right around the corner, you will have to make up your mind and tell yourself; “I will miss out this year”. Lucky for me, I can’t afford to miss out, but, your the one with the plan, and who is still in school, so you have no choice.

And from the minute you finish reading this article, you will start putting a schedule together with all your subjects, and decide how you will tackle all those subjects, You have to study for one hour, then take a half hour break, and then study for another hour. Then take a hour break,  eat a meal or something to much on, and then back at it. Don’t take no long breaks until after you have studied for at least two to three hours. Do this for at least four consecutive hours. Ever time you have studied a chapter from one subject, you switch subjects. At least two subjects per day.

The objective and goal your thriving for is to prove that failure is not an option. You can only fail if you quit, and no one reading this blog is a quitter. Sorry for those who haven’t found this blog yet.

Don’t allow no distractions, no internet, no girl friend boy friend, blah, blah, and if your studying in groups or with a friend, make sure you stick to your time limits, no “pussy footing” (just wanted to write that word, don’t know why, it just sounds great), nothing that will keep you from your books. You now have a plan, and it’s better than no plan at all. Your MIA for a couple weeks, Missing In Action. You have to eliminate that single point of failure and study every subject, even the ones you dislike.

Follow this routine religiously for the next 4 to six weeks before exams and you will be on your way to a nice and secure fat payday… your “Diploma”. Did you hear me say it won’t be stressful? Nope, it will take a lot out of ya, but nothing in life will ever be easy, so learn to live with that idea in your head. And if it was easy, everyone would be able to do it, your not everyone, your you, and that means your different.

I notice something wrong here, your still reading, didn’t I say ” No Internet”, get off the computer and go study… duh, duh… (got that from my kids)

Life isn’t getting any easier and the best way to move forward is when we have a group of like minded people working for the best and bringing out the best in each other. We have to start wanting the best for ourselves and for everyone else we know.

Being black is hard as it is, and a constant attack at each other isn’t helping anyone of us. Why can’t black people look out for each other? Why can’t black people build stronger ties in our community? I do believe we can, but the picture that we are painting today has to change.

Let’s try to see the big picture that is being painted today:

1. Making kids for many different men isn’t helping out, you got to see that there is something wrong with this. Today there are parents with four, five or more children all from different fathers. What’s wrong with that picture? They invented birth control with no color barrier, and still many are making babies like they are a bargain.
2. It is hip to wear you pants below the waist line, and walk like a duck. Man, get real, this has no face value to me. I can’t picture the top executives walking into a meeting room to negotiate a million dollar deal, with such a dress code. No one will take you serious. So why is our youth wearing their pants that way?
3. Education is available to all whom wish, yet, many of our black children are dropping out of school before the age of sixteen. Do we think that the future lies in becoming a professional Basket ball player, Football player or maybe a famous rapper (they all carry the trade mark of the “Drop Down Pants Syndrome.”) So why is our youth lacking in the school benches?
4. Our teenage girls are not getting the chance to even enjoy marriage, it is just all about sex, they are letting themselves be video taped by their so called boyfriends. Trust me, if he loved you that much, he wouldn’t be taping you, he would be too busy making love with you. If he wants to tape you, just ask yourself what he would do with that video once you and him are no longer together? Guess the answer is obvious! Something is wrong with the amount of videos of our teenage love struck youngster. Help me paint this picture. Why are they letting their boyfriends tape them? Haven’t they just seen the last one from someone in our community?
5. Teenagers getting pregnant at such a young age, it’s like children raising children all over again. When will the cycle stop? How can we change this picture, are we raising children so they can just get pregnant at a very young age?
6. Many of the children hanging out on the block, can’t even write nor read their own name if you snubbed it right under their noses. How will they ever be able to sign a check or get their own bank account, much less get a great JOB? Something is wrong with this picture, hanging on the block is not cool.
7. Young girls hanging out with a group of boys until late in the evening, I have seen this in my own neighborhood. don’t these youngsters have a mother or a father? This picture, let’s me to see that boys and girls hanging out late at night means, our own parental skills are lagging.
8. Look at the checkout counters, all we are seeing is young black girls, working for minimum wages. Will they grow up and start a family of their own? How can we change this picture and capture the better jobs that are available?
9. Parents attacking the teachers, is it the teacher fault, or is it the teachers responsibility to discipline our children?
10. Now, I am taking a great example from my little Island St. Maarten. Many of our youngsters are ending up in prison. Whenever a crime is committed they blame the foreigners, well, wake up people this is not true. Our prisons are becoming to small, they are filling up with black folks, and many of them are local Antillean kids. What’s wrong with this picture.

I can go on and on, and create a really big list, but I do think the picture has been painted, and I do know you see what I see, and understand where I am coming from. If you don’t then that means you have living with your eyes closed and not accepting the fact that we as black people are failing miserable.

At the time of this writing, Barack Obama is running for president, and he is a black man. Yes, we have come a long way, and we should be proud to see this. I am proud to have witness this event in my life, because it shows that some of the black people in the world are painting better pictures. But to few and too little to brag about. What is the first picture you think he would wish to change?

Do you think it’s Obama’s job, or our job to work together and starting pushing each other up the ladder. As black people we have to stop fighting and putting each other down. We have to stand up and unite and help each other improve. To make this world a better place, it starts with you, you have to change that picture that many of our black folks are painting, and it starts with you, not Obama or any other person.

We have to stop playing the blaming game and start facing our own responsibilities with open eyes.

We must become the change we want to see in the world… “Mahatma Gandhi”

We have to also start educating our kids and getting them to start striving for better in life. Change their mental image of what life is supposed to be like. Let them see that to be different is something great.

This is not a black or white issue, this is not a teaching problem, this is a problem we are facing daily and if we don’t start pushing each other up the ladder, we will find ourselves living in bondage again. Just enjoying the meager wages and living in the poverty stricken neighborhoods.

Let’s all change this picture, and do something today. A small change in our thinking and our attitude, will help propel more of our black people to do more and strive for more. Let’s start with the first change, and that is to change yourself, forget about changing the world or another person, just change yourself and that will enable just one more black person to shine, together we will make a difference.