Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

You must understand what it is that you like and dislike, about something or someone. But if your a true leader and not a follower, you will have to be criticized, complemented, liked and disliked.

Most of you and I must admit that I myself loves to be complemented, but what happens when your attacked with a bombardment of negative things that you do. How do you deal with it? What do you do? Will You run? Will stand there and argue?

Life is filled with positive and negative moments and people, and to be at the top, you have to learn how to deal with both the good and the bad. At times I really came to believe that the more bad you are confronted with, the stronger you become.

Let me give you a little example that took place just a couple days back. A colleague called me and I told him about an issue that had to be dealt with right away, he immediately went into defense mode, and stated that I should call the Hotel Manager and let him call him. I told him that’s a waste of energy, why don’t you call him and try to understand what the issue is.

He didn’t even bother with me, and told me no, he won’t do that, I should call the Hotel manager. Now, that really confused me, and at that moment I questioned myself, what is his issue. I didn’t make the call and later that afternoon our manager came to the office, I didn’t bring up the topic, just then that colleague walked in and I called him and asked him what happened with the problem from this morning. he was really nice and said in a soft an friendly voice, I already told you what to do. He was so sweet, I swore that I got cavities from the way he was acting. I then said, how nice, but the boss is here now, so let me hear what you had to say.

He then said you go and tell him then, and so I did. My manager walked over and asked what was the issue, I then explained what was going on, and he then asked the guy what was happening. Must give my boss a credit for that, he listened to both sides. Great skills, when your facing both evils, make no choice, choice no sides, just listen to both.

My colleague began speaking in a weird manner, calling and referring to people without names, I told him, hey if your talking about me, just say what’s on your mind, because I don’t like stories.

This was the first time I was being criticized for something I did. At that moment he caught me off-guard and I was really pissed. But, I didn’t show it, but my voice was much louder than normal. You know what surprised me most, is that this colleague stayed very calm and collective. He honestly showed more skills, he really made me loose my cool.

What happened?

A simple case of letting someone get to you, I left him irritate me, and lost my cool. From now on, I will have to pay much more attention, and think before I respond, and most important: Don’t ever, ever loose your cool!

He then said he would file a complaint against me for the way I addressed him. I then told him that he was just being childish and that when the manager is there he acts so sweet and nice like a spoiled child. But, I must say I honestly learned something from this whole issue.

What did I learn from this?

Ever since I came to work in this department, this guy was confronting me, and I was avoiding him, I kept avoiding him, and the more he kept attacking. I always believed that by avoiding the problem or this person it was the best solution.

That is pure hog wash.

After our problem, we met outside and he asked me; “So you want to bring out your guns and shoot me!”

That statement really pissed me off, but then I told him what I felt and what really happened, a stupid simple over looked mistake brought forward some serious issues. But, once I laid my cards on the table and explained him what I thought, and he explained what he thought. We finally understood each other.

As you can see at some point in your life, you will be confronted or criticized. Don’t run from your problems, just listen to the person attacking, and ask yourself: Why is this person attacking me? Do I attack people the same way?

If you can answer those questions honestly, then you will notice that you do the same and  what your sending out is what you will receive. Change that attitude, stop attacking people, try to understand and reason with people. If they can’t be reasoned with, just state your case and explain that you have to leave.

No matter what people say about you, just embrace and analyze if it’s true and if it is, just change that habit and simply move on. Your not trying to live your life to please. Your trying to learn how to speak your mind and how to be better understood. Those are the most important issues that we have to deal with in life.

Spend more time improving your speaking skills, that way people will understand you better, and you won’t be scared to say what you have to.

Are you one of those soggy people walking around blaming everyone for all your short comings?

I can honestly say, that I once fitted in that category just fine, I was content with my situation, and did my fair share of complaining, the more I complained the more it made me feel better. You know the sad part of that is that I was actually stunting my own growth, nothing was working for me, my JOB, my attitude, my love life and my kids wasn’t enjoying the beast I was becoming.

Then I said to myself, if you want to be someone then it is time you stop looking through the glass window, and replace that window with a mirror. I started looking at myself for the first time, and realized what I became. It was time to change and I will now introduce you to the 11 tips that can help you get anything you want in life, it surely did and is still working for me:

1. Don’t Worry - You have to drop the worry habits, there is no room in your head for you to be storing problems or worrying about what is going on in your life. You have to live a life that consumes each and every minute the good Lord gives you. None of us can predict when it’s our last, enjoy every moment that your able to get out of your bed and make the best out of the day ahead.

2. Be Yourself - You are who your are, your an original copy. There is no one alive who knows you better than you know yourself. You don’t want to pretend or act as if your someone else. You can only attract love if you learn to love you. All great things in life came from someone original, be yourself always, don’t let anyone lead you and learn to bring out the leader in yourself. Each and everyone of us has potential, as long as we remain who we are.

3. Be Grateful - Learn to accept the people around you, it’s not your calling to change them, just like how I made the choice to change, so should you. Learn to love the world we live in, stop criticizing your surroundings, your work, your life and yourself. You will make mistakes, learn from them, you will have many more to make, so get accustomed.

4. Be Creative - All you need in this world is to bring forth your own creative mind, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish. The life you live now, is the life you created, accept it, and let your creative juices flow. Once your creative mind is filled, new and and weird ideas will come to mind. Write them down, study them, don’t let them fade away into a lost memory.

5. Visualize - yes, see what it is you want in your life, picture the great things in life. Stop all evil thoughts from gaining access to your mind, suppress and replace any picture that isn’t worthwhile. Dream the dreams that only the stars can afford, keep it locked in your mind, it’s your own big flat screen T.V. Enjoy the pictures that you wish to see, you have your own remote, change the channel, if a movie is playing that you don’t like.

6. You Can’t Have Anything You Want In Life - Remember this, you can’t have anything you want in life, it is the greed that drives you, stop the wanting. If you really want something in life, you have to visualize that you already have it. You have to act and be the person you want to be. If you wish to pass your classes and graduate, see yourself walking on that stage as your going to get that diploma. see the success you wish to create for yourself, don’t wish for it. Visualize it is yours, now. Dream bigger dreams, but picture that you have what you want already.

7. Use Your Love - When was the last time you told someone, I Love You? Say it, mean it and then say it again. Feel how great it feels, learn to share your love. The more love you share, the more love will be returned to your life.

8. Give - Learn the powers of this universe and reap the rewards by giving, gifting is not for the rich alone. Don’t wait until your rich to give. You can give love, then you will receive love in return. Give respect and you will get respect. But, try giving money, and you will receive more money. Make it part of your life. Pick one day out of the week, and decide that you will give, contribute a dollar amount that you can afford to someone needy. Do that every day, and I can guarantee you that your life will change, you will have abundance. Whatever you desire for yourself in this life, give, give and give more of what you seek.

9. Smile - A smile is the cheapest thing life has to offer. Don’t tell me you can’t afford one, it’s free. Smile more, let people feel what you radiate just by being in your close proximity.

10. Look Into People Eyes - Let there be light, and there was. Then why is it that your afraid to look people in their face and look deep into their eyes. You can peek into another soul by watching straight into their eyes. It’s power, it shows your strengths and courage. Stop looking at the ground, start facing people and keep your head high.

11. Touch… learn to embrace life, feel what life has to offer. Honestly learn to face life head on, reach out and show a friend how much you care, just a simple touch can do that. Material things can’t buy love, it is knowing that you have someone there that you can count on does. Show them you care, just reach out and touch them.

Life is a journey, a never ending long winding road, it is a journey we each have to take. you have the choice now, to continue down the path your going, or decide to make the best out of your journey. I have done just that, and I am seeing so many doors open that I just can’t honestly explain why. Is it a miracle, is it the almighty or is it because I decided that I wanted more out of life. You be the judge, I am the jury, I am living proof. I am mastering the secrets, and so can you, just believe in yourself and enjoy life and live by those tips.

The biggest problem you face in life is how to deal with problems. On a daily basis we face problems and learning how to manage your problems is what separates winners from losers. The trouble with problems is new ones keep popping up, your life will never run out of problems, as one problem goes away up comes another one. To live a fulfilled and happy life you will have to become good at problem solving. How do you become a master at problem solving?

If at any time in your life you encounter a problem your first notion is to worry about the problem, but that is not the right way to go about this. Making the problem a daily ritual is what creates more stress on a day to day basis. To understand this process you will have to realize that what we think about all day long becomes a part of our life. If we focus on a problem, then our life will have nothing but more problems to deal with, because the more we worry about the problem the more problems will arise at that moment.

Problem solving involves a pattern of thinking, and this has nothing to do with education, but more to do with focusing on the solution. You have to actually see the solution before your eyes, and then take baby steps towards solving your problem.

Many people have problems and all they do is rant on and on about their problems and never actually sit down to face their problems. They run from the problem instead of dealing with the problem. I have never seen any problem solve it’s self, if that was possible the world would be a problem free place, unfortunately i’s not that way. you have to find your own method for solving your own problems, and no matter how bad you think your method is, it’s better than no method at all.

Don’t focus on the cause

As you encounter a problem in your life, it could be a health problem, skin problem, a social problem or any problem for a matter of fact, you will have to learn to not focus on the problem. forget the cause and don’t keep blaming yourself. That problem exist because you made a bad choice, or it was something that was supposed to just happen (that is my simple version for not blaming myself, I just say it was to happen to me), whatever the case, it’s not important. What is really important now is how to change your mind from focusing on the problem and getting your mind to focus on a solution or many different solutions.

The most important point is to not do any finger pointing and try to blame what has happened on anyone else, and that also mean to not yourself. The problem came to life, because something went out of sync, and that means it is time for you to redesign, change and come up with new ideas to improve your life and get rid of this problem.

That is why big thinkers are so great at solving problems, they can turn any problem into a solution, they don’t see problems, they tend to look for solutions within the problems. that is why it is so easy to spot great managers, they come up with ideas and try to get the ball rolling, they never try to pin the problem on anyone, they accept failure and don’t dwell on it.

No problem just arise on a first come first off notice. It has been brewing for some time, one thing leads to another, but unaware to you, this problem has taken on a life of it’s own and when you least expect it is when it strikes. Just like how the problem manifested, so will the solution, but you have to start making small little preparations in your mind as to how you will deal with this problem.

Sometimes, certain problems are are not repairable, and in that case it is best to abandon and forget about that issue, it makes no sense trying to fix what is out of your league.

Let me give an example, a simple one to understand what I am trying to explain, let’s say a discussion takes place between two friends about another’s best friend. one says something that the other said, and then it gets back ot the other friend. That friend confronts their friend and the friendship gets destroyed because of a simple they say we say and no one actually said. This is common, but as you can see if no one takes the first step to say look what broke up our friendship and no one gives in, then that friendship will be lost forever.

Another example from a business standpoint that I have witnessed; Let’s say we have a problem with a system, and we need to come up with a solution fast. The easy way out is when everyone blames the guy that was making changes at that moment. When I arrived one the scene I asked each and everyone what the issue was and what they think, everyone points fingers at the other. At the same time, the problem would have been solved much easier if the persons involved spent the same energy looking for a solution instead of trying to blame each other at that moment. This is something I deal with daily, and I never ever get involved in the finger pointing game, I solve the problem, and seldom ever say who was at fault, especially if it was another employee who overlooked something.

One more thing to remember is that not all problems have causes, not all causes can be corrected and fixed. So looking for causes is not wise, and won’t fix the problem.

My way of solving problems

As stated before, everyone has to find what works for them and continue to educate yourself and come up with better methods for doing things. I have learned a lot and continue to learn each and everyday of my life. I analyze what works and what doesn’t work. I have adapted many things in my life for better, and witness many issues in my past that affected my own performance. Life is about adjusting and improving what isn’t working on a day to day basis.

The first thing I noticed with people who can’t solve problems is that they are very unsure of themselves and have a hard time taking action, I should say they don’t know how to come up with taught producing patterns that caters towards the solution. To fix any problem, you will have to start by changing something, and I usually start with the changes in my mind. In simple words, forget about the cause, and just focus in your mind on what works, and what would be the best solution.

Whenever I am confronted with a problem, I usually analyze the situation by thinking about the cause, this is a brief analysis. I then just accept what happened and focus on a way out. I don’t ever blame myself or try to make anyone see it my way. My method is to ask myself a series of wise questions:

1. What could I have done to avoid this?
2. What can I do now to better this situation?
3. What have I been overlooking?
4. What will make this better right now?

As you can see I am preparing in my mind the solution and at the same time a way to prevent this from happening again. You will also have to come up with your own winning questions, those are mines, use if you like, once you get good at this, you will come up with questions that brings solutions with the first question you ask yourself.

No matter what you do from there, just follow your mind and the solution that was given to you at that moment. Just start with your own problem solving methods. No solution is the worse answer, just start with small improvements and the big picture will be drawn and before you know it you will have solved your own problem and your next problem will be in the making. Learn to deal with problems, life is filled with em, the better you are with problem solving the higher up the ladder you will get in society.

It will all become much easier, and you will get better and better at solving your own problems. Just take action…