Life Improvement Tips For The Wise Few

As I sat down to watch the news tonight, every channel was briefly discussing the topic of banning the spanking of our kids. Should spanking be banned? Well, I have three kids, and I must admit, this doesn’t fit well with my way of thinking and the way I raised my kids.

There are many ways to raise your kids and I have spanked my kids. I have also seen parents that didn’t spank, and I know of those that takes spanking to an abusive level.

Why I spank my kids

First we must understand what exactly is spanking, and why I do spank. I have given my kids minimal spanking but I had many words exchanged in the process with them. I created a little rule that was laid down by my Mom, once a kid makes twelve years then their spanking ritual ends. So my kids look forward to that milestone, and I must admit, all that is needed after that is good communication and respect.

On the other hand I had a rule whereby no teacher shall ever have to call me to school because of rude behavior. Your grade for behavior should be your best mark in class, even if all your other grades sucked. When my son made nine, he had an outburst with one of the teachers, and he was panting and acting as if he was in charge. Well, that soon changed once I got to the school. I looked at him and said we will deal once we get home. He started to cry and I didn’t even touched him, because he knew of the rule and the consequences that would follow. The teacher grabbed him and started to feel sorry for him.

When we got home I gave him a good trashing with a belt, and later that evening I explained him the reason why. I have to be honest, that was the first and last spanking he really got from me. I must also admit that was the last time any teacher ever complained him to me.

Spanking is not abusing

Many parents get the concept mixed up, abuse is not spanking. When you take spanking to a next level and use the buckle of a belt or any type of metal object like pipes. Then your naturally abusing your children. That is abusive behavior. It is always better to not spank your kid when your in a rage, that way you will control the level of punishment.

I have seen situation where parents spanked their kids until blood came, because they ripped the skin with the object they were beating their kids. That is plane out abuse. And I don’t believe it should ever get to that level.

Mothers fighting with their kids to prove who is in charge, it’s not about who is in charge it is about you being a parent. parents and kids should never ever have to fight. this shows no love or bond within that family. They tend to miss out on the little love that a parent is suppose to be offering.

Teaching your kids to love

Sometimes, it is much easier to to give love, but you can’t give or expect to receive what you have never given. Many parents miss the chance to show love, and that should be an ongoing process that starts when they are very young.

We tend to scold, kick and scream at our kids, but seldom do we ever praise or give compliments for the good things they do. We condemn the bad behavior and have absolutely no kind of conversations with our kids. Spending time with your kids is vital, just playing card games or simple board games, creates lasting bonds and memories.

Children are the easiest to deal with once we show them how to love, a little hug before bed goes a long way. A kiss on the cheek and naturally saying I love you, shows them how much you care. Start showing the kind of love you would like in return and you will be assured of the kind of love you receive.

To spank or not to spank

Don’t spare the rod and spoil the child…

Many parents are afraid to spank their kids, and as I always say; “What you practice at home becomes very easy on the streets.” If you can’t control your kids at home, then you should not try to control them when your around your friends or out of the house. They are not accustom to you showing that authoritative type of power, so they will embarrass you.

I always believe that the role of a parent is to show respect (notice what I just wrote, you have to show respect), and then to set the rules in your own home as to what you will tolerate and what you would not. Once your kids understand the rules, your life becomes very easy. If you can’t get your kid to understand the rules before the age of four to five, then forget it, they will never listen to you. Your only choice is to pray and hope for the best.

There are easy going kids, they are very easy to raise, but then you have very inquisitive kids, and they are the ones that needs a whole load of explaining and correcting. Kids adhere to rules, and sometimes expect the parent to step in, but they don’t. At that moment your kid will keep testing the bounds and trying to get away with anything you overlook. Once they notice what you don’t address it just keeps getting worse until you loose control over your own kid.

I do believe that we should spank once a kid gets out of control. Two or three lashes will be more than enough. Don’t make spanking your first priority, you can also punish your kids.

Punishing your kids is much better

To punish is a much easier method and it demands strict control on your behalf. You have to reinforce the punishment and not let them get away with it.

Just monitor your kids and use what they like as methods for punishment. If your kids like playing with a special toy, PSP, baseball or whatever else, just let them know they can’t attend for a week or two as punishment and make sure they don’t go.

This process has to be taught from a very young age, it is the only way you will be able to continue this sort of punishment at a older age. One method I always used is to use a firm voice to show when I disliked something. Practice this tone whenever they do anything wrong, they will get scared anytime you use that tone of voice.

If parents were firm in applying those simple methods of punishment, then we would have no need for the government to step in and creates false laws that govern how we should raise our own kids. To be a parent means you have to make sure your little kid can’t outsmart you. You’ve walked that road before, think back and make a sound decision and stick with it.

The most respectful kids are those that has been punished when they were younger. So I am a firm believer in punishing kids. The government should not be the one to dictate how we should raise our kids. They are the first to put all the blame on us when our kids does wrong, so let us stand fully responsible for the methods we choose to raise our kids. With that I do mean spanking and punishing, no abuse.

Learning how to keep your money in your pocket and only buy what you really need is the best way to manage your money. Many of us have the tendency to buy something the first time around, but that is a very bad habit, that you will need to break. You can read my article on how to break bad habits that will help you loose that type of behavior.

Most of the time we buy items we seldom need or use, I think it’s a human behavior that acts like magnet that pulls us to buy without even knowing why. Most of the time we buy an item we are highly excited about at that moment, then a couple weeks goes by and we hardly notice what we bought, a couple months down the road and we can’t even recall what we bought.

A well know method for controlling your urge for buying is called delayed gratification. It is a method that you should also use before you jump and purchase something. The method is very simple and works as follow: When you see something that you want, don’t jump and buy it right away, just tell yourself that I will come back and buy it later. Stay away for a week or two and return to review what you wanted to buy. You will notice that your excitement has faded and your not interested in buying that item anymore.

By doing this, you will teach yourself how to not buy on impulse. You will learn how to spend your money wisely and only buy items that you really need. You will learn how to manage your money much better and control your bad spending habits. Wise spending is as simple as not jumping the gun and buying each and everything you see.
A good example of bad spending can be seen every end of the month when we get our pay or during the Holidays when we get a little bonus. People tend to buy stuff they seldom need. Many of you go out and buy gym equipment (yes, guys it isn’t easy to train at home) only to realize that after the first month or two, your newly bought equipment only catches dust and never gets used again.

It is much cheaper to just go to the gym for a couple of months and then quit when you feel like you had enough, the cost is much lower, and you won’t have to keep looking at that new piece of gym equipment that you just can’t fit into your lazy routine.

Another good example is the purchase of clothing and shoes. Count the amount of pieces clothing that you have lying around that you no longer wear and picture the shoes you have bought that also never get worn (sorry ladies that one fits up your alley). I do believe that these bad practices can be controlled, if we would really use the delayed gratification principle.

As the season approaches, I do hope many of you would actually plan your purchases and control your spending. It is much better to have some money after the season passes, than to go through the season flat broke.

Put aside a little money and save it away for after the Holiday season, or save a little this month and next month. That will be your way of making sure that when the season hype blows off, you will still have a little cash.

I know many people who blows every cent during the Holiday season and end up taking a loan or begging a friend to lend them some money to survive the worse month of the year. January is the hardest and toughest time of the year, because many spend more than they earn during the month of December.

Wise spending consist of learning to manage your money and stop begging people to help you out. If you keep lending money from people all your life will bring you is people lending back money from you. It is the poor people syndrome. All they do is lend from each other, it is a vicious circle where lending just goes around and around. It gets so bad at one moment that they lend from one person to repay another. Don’t join that never ending lending tree. If your part of that consider yourself poor, and if you wish to break free repay what you have loaned from others, and break that bad habit. Be on the giving side, that way your life will be rewarded for helping others. But only give what you can afford.

Learn to live within your means, save ten percent of what you earn each month before you pay your bills and, spend what you can afford and only buy what you need.

To be a better person in life does not take much effort, but more willingness on your behalf and your ability to adjust to change. You can improve your personality once you understand what it is that you wish to change. Many people try to hard to be everybody else, to please everyone and to be a friend to all. The easiest method that gets the best results is to be yourself. As I always state, you can be anything you wish, if you would only be yourself and love yourself more than anyone else.

Here are my top personality improvement tips:

1. Just be yourself - I hate it when I see others imitating people and not trying to be themselves. You can’t go through this life trying to be someone who your not. People give each other more respect when they know they can trust you and understand you. If your a quiet person, then don’t start being loud once your friends come around. You are you, and that is what people likes about you, they like you because your quiet. I have friends that are very loud, they can walk in a room and take over the crowd, but that is the way they are, and you know what, I appreciate that from them — I never try to be that way.

2. Relax more and enjoy yourself - Have you ever seen how tense certain people are when your talking with them. It is as if they are ready to fight no matter who is talking with the. You have to relax and take it easy, no one is trying to conquer your world. Those type of people are very hyper, and if you start a conversation with them, it’s best to agree and move on. No use to try and prove them wrong, you will loose that battle. Just relax and enjoy life, stop going around trying to prove who is right from wrong.

I have seen people get into conversations about things they have no knowledge of, and I would just listen and not say a word. Then they would turn to me and ask what I think. I always try to give a very brief answer and try to change the topic.

3. Put a smile on your face - There are two ways to go about this, one is to have a normal face without the smile (that is the trustworthy face) or a smiley face. Do you know someone who has such a face? I do, and these people are always happy. It just goes to show that a smile on your face can change your mood. So picture great things and keep yourself in a good mood.

4. Improve your dress code - The way you dress can really put you in a better mood. Don’t dress yourself like a rag doll, because it will make you feel like one. If you know of someone who is classy, then why not try and imitate them. You don’t have to go buying brand name clothes, but look around and start trying to improve your dress style.

Look for ways that will make you feel better. Walk with your head high and feel confident about yourself. Don’t put down yourself, and don’t let others put you down.

One thing I hate to see is people wearing their grandparents shoes. If that is you, get with the program. Buy yourself at least two pairs of dress shoes, and start adding a pair every couple of months. If things is tight then just buy one pair, but change it once it is worn. No need to wear them until the soles has wholes.

5. Come out of your shell - Start being a little more friendly and try to talking with people you don’t know. For this to work you will have to start doing things a little different than your accustomed to. You will have to start reading different books, looking at different programs. Just get in the know, that way you will be able to have a conversation about things you never knew before.

Even if the topic is something you have no clue about just listen, and ask questions about the topic. People love to show you how much they know, stop trying to take over the conversation, just become a more attentive listener.

6. Stop trying to be everyone friend - In this life you don’t have to be afraid of anyone, and you don’t have to be friends with all. Don’t do things to please people, do what you like and if someone doesn’t like that, then too bad. You have to understand that when you try to please, you will get stepped on. That way it will look like they like you, but in truth your just being used.

You just need a couple friends that are very close and just be cool with everyone else who you know. you not trying to build enemies, but you don’t have to have everyone as a friend. just greet and be nice, you don’t have to talk to all whom you meet, your not a politician.

7. Get yourself a cologne or perfume - You have to get this one right, if you want to look different and be different, then you have to smell different. Just go to any perfume store and buy yourself a perfume or cologne. You don’t want imitation, they smell awful. If your unsure what to buy, ask the sales people what’s new or what smells great, make them give you plenty of samples. Take your time and pick a scent that you like.

If you still unsure then don’t buy just yet, go back another time with a friend and ask for their honest opinion. When walking on the street and you smell someone with a nice fragrance ask what they are wearing, and go get one.

If you smell good, you will feel more confident, it will boost your ego.

8. Stop complaining - if someone comes to you with a complaint about someone or something, just listen and try to say the least possible. Don’t join them in their complaint ritual. Your trying to improve your life, and that means the less you complain the better it will be for you.

Complaints doesn’t solve problems, action does, so stop wasting your time and energy.

9. Get a more positive outlook on life - Stop being so negative and bringing more failure onto yourself. You have to get a more positive attitude and start seeing the good things that life has to offer. Spend less time worrying and more time doing, action is what makes this world go round and is what gets things done.

10. Start dishing out more of what you wish to receive - I have to give a good friend of mines credit for this one, and just had to mention it here. Your life is like a bank account. You can’t withdraw any money until you put in.

It all starts in your mind, if you want to improve your personality, you will have to do things that caters to those needs. You are what you think of all day long. Don’t sit and become a looser because of your negative attitude.

If you want to be loved, then you have to deposit love, that is the only way you will be able to withdraw love. If you want to live a healthier life, then start doing things that will improve your health. If you want a promotion on your JOB, then start doing things that will show your entitled to a raise and your boss will notice it. No A&* sucking here, that will not help you. No matter what you want in life, you will have to start making deposits before you can expect to withdraw.

Just be yourself and go prove to the world that you can be someone to look up to. You have seen my personality improvement tips, now start working on yourself. I can bet you that if you just pick two or three of the above tips, in a couple months from now, people will start to notice the change in you.